O Sole Mio

(Serving suggestion)

I had a nice pair of sandals. Bought them at Next, oh, some years ago, and although they weren't particularly worn, I gave up wearing them because they had a fastening at the heel that I found increasingly difficult to get at as my back became stiffer.

Yesterday I slipped them on again, it being a sunny day, and went out to Newcastle with a pair of bags full of heavy books for Oxfam. Stepping off the bus in town, I thought the heel of my left sandal seemed to be sloping the wrong way. Also there seemed to be a lot of black crap sticking out from the sole of the right one. I scraped it off and walked on.

It's only a few hundred yards from the bus stop to the Oxfam shop, but by the time I got there, I could hardly walk. I realised that the soles of both sandals were in a state if disintegration. Handing over the two bags to the old bloke on the desk, I started to walk - hobble - out. He said, "You've dropped something off your shoe."

"I know," I said, "My shoes are falling apart. Sorry about that." I suppose he expected me to pick up the piece of black crap, but in turning back to the door, the whole heel of the right shoe fell off.

I kicked it out the door and limped across the road to the taxi rank. Ten quid to give some books away. Tsk.